Off Topic- complaining just to complain.

I have not abandoned this brand new blog. I have many plans to use it for many things. Rather than talk about DIY's today, of which I have 3 started that are all half finished, I would like to release into the world my current stresses so I can focus on something else.

Today Henry and I said goodbye to Andrew for the next 6 weeks. ZERO contact. I can't tell you how nervous that makes this 30 week pregnant lady. What makes this particular separation harder than his 2 year mission, basic training, multiple TDY's and even his 6 month deployment is that it will be the longest we have ever gone in 12 years without talking to each other by any form of communication. I can't even express how terrifying that is for me. He is the Yin to my Yang. When I'm stressed he listens to every single word of worry and bullshit and concern that comes out of my mouth and directs me through it. When I'm pregnant he is even more sympathetic, helpful and support.

Seeing Henry say goodbye to his Dad, his best friend in the world, it was hard. Especially knowing that by the time Andrew gets back, Henry will only have his Dad all to himself for a few more weeks.  That's one of those things about turning an only child into a big brother, really without his consent, you have to prepare for the transition that might include some resent, sadness and anger. He's such an easy going kid, I would like to believe that it won't be an issue but I know that I can't ignore the reality that he is going to struggle. Even as excited as he is to be an older brother, he may feel some insecurities about his place in the family. I'm preparing for Louie's arrival by talking to Henry about everything he can do with Louie and I think the trip home to visit family will help too.

On top of Henry having to say goodbye to his dad this morning he has a 102.7 fever. He was so talkative and energetic when we woke him up this morning. His mood suddenly shifted and I took him out to breakfast before school thinking he was sad about saying goodbye to his Dad. I thought he felt a little warm but he wasn't complaining. I took him to school and when I picked him up he was even warmer. When I dropped him off at school that morning I told his teacher that he was having a hard morning, otherwise I think she would have checked his temperature since he is typically more animated. I'm really hoping this bug doesn't involve throwing up. Between Andrew leaving, my being pregnant, and possibly dealing with the 2 of us being sick with spring break around the corner, combined with doctors appointments and trying to take it easy so this baby stays in while Andrew's gone; it's all a little overwhelming to think about. Not to mention I've been having several panic attacks every day for the last 2 months. If there was ever a time to be drinking it would be now. Thanks a lot baby.

I haven't been posting as planned this week because I've been hiding out. When I prepare for something difficult, like separating from my husband, I prepare in the worst way. I shut down. This time around I was better than usual. I still spent time with friends and distracted myself with some projects but the laundry has been neglected and I haven't felt like updating like I planned and the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes. To add to the already Everest size pile of laundry, the cats peed on Henry's bed this morning so I've got another full load to wash. As annoying as that is, it's a motivator to get it all done. So a big thanks to my cats for supporting me the only way they know how.

On a more positive note. I had a OB appointment today and Louie looks good. In fact, he is already looking pretty plump which makes me excited. Kind of. I think I would rather deliver a runway model than a 8+ pound baby. But fat babies are the best so even if he is over 8 pounds at delivery eventually my complaining will be replaced by the sound of nibbling on some chunky baby legs.

More great news today is that because I check my blood sugar weekly my Doc said that I could skip the 3 hour glucose test. I thought he mentioned that in the beginning of my pregnancy but when I mentioned it to the nurse at a later appointment and then to another Doc while my regular was on vacation, they both said I still had to do it. I was really happy to hear my Doc reconfirm that I didn't have to drink that crap.

I'm thinking after this emotional day+ sick and sad kid, if Henry is up to a quick run down the road, I'm going to go pick up some ice cream and order in some pizza.

I did find some great stuff at the Goodwills this week so I think I'll be back to regular posting tomorrow.